By Priya

October 25, 2021

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Show notes

🎙 This week, is the season finale of the first season of Girl on FIRE. And to mark the special occasion, I’m finishing off the season with part 2 of my 2-part series where I share 30 lessons about life and money I’ve learned in 30 years of roaming the planet. 🤔

This episode discusses topics like:

  • The #1 quote I remind myself of everyday to make sure I’m living the best life I possibly can;
  • What I’ve learned about work / life balance and how to really create balance in your life; and
  • The philosophy I live my life by.

Transcript

Hello, friends! And welcome back to Girl on FIRE, the financial independence podcast for independent women. 

My name is Priya, I’m a Chartered Accountant, an analyst and the creator of Paper Money Co. 

I’m also a fierce financial feminist and the host of this podcast. I believe that a woman who is in control of her money, is in control of her life.

This week, we’re celebrating the end of season one of Girl on FIRE. This is the last episode of this season. We’re going to be taking a little break over November and December. 

And we’ll be returning with more amazing content at the beginning of January. I’ll still be sharing money and life updates with my email list during the break. 

So, if you don’t want to miss out, head on over to papermoneyco.com/startinvesting.

This is your last chance to get your hands on this freebie! When we return for season 2, there’ll be a new freebie ready for you.

But by downloading your free copy of my Investing Starter Guide, you’ll also be added to my list of VIPs. And you’ll get my weekly newsletter every Friday with all sorts of fun things inside it. 

I’ll also be sharing behind the scenes news and updates for Camp FIRE, which is going to launch when we launch season 2 of Girl on FIRE in January as well.

I wanted to close out this season with part 2 of the 30 things I’ve learned about money and life in 30 years. Last week, I shared some money lessons with you. 

And this week, I want to share some life lessons with you. But before we do that I just want to say a huge thank to you for making the first season of Girl on FIRE such an incredible success. 

When we launched this show in January of 2021, I didn’t think we’d grow so quickly, but we have and there are thousands of Girls on FIRE listening in and that makes me really happy.

But I’m also really grateful that you choose to spend a part of your day with me and that you email me your stories and that you learn from what I try to share here. 

I’d also like to say a huge thank you to the producer and editor of Girl on FIRE who I’m actually married to. The quality and polish on this show is all thanks to you.

And with that, let’s dive in!

Life Lessons

Okay, so last week, we went through 15 lessons about money. So this week, we’re picking up our life lessons right where we left off with lesson #16

16. No amount of money will buy you a second of more time

First up, lesson #16 is one I’ve mentioned a few times on this show. It’s a quote from Howard Stark:

No amount of money will buy you a second of more time. 

I like to remind myself of that every now and then, when I feel like I’m becoming too much of a workaholic and forgetting to live. 

Which, let’s be honest, is pretty often. It’s the kind of thing that’s easy to forget when you’re busy earning a living, paying bills, preparing for retirement. 

But life is meant to be lived. And you should live it while you can.

17. People are going to judge you either way, so just do what makes you happy

Next up, lesson #17 — this one is really self explanatory. People are going to judge you if you do and judge you if you don’t.

They’ll judge you either way so just do what’s right for you and what makes you happy.

18. You can make more money but you can’t make more time

On to #18 — one of my friends said this to me and it really stuck, it’s one of my favourite quotes.

You can make more money but you can’t make more time.

It’s just a good reminder that we’re not here to accumulate tons of money we’re here to live our lives. 

The best lives and happiest lives we possibly can and our money is a tool to help us achieve that goal. The money itself isn’t the goal, it’s just a tool.

19. What you allow is what will continue. What you don’t change, you accept. 

Next up is lesson #19 and I feel like this is something we’ve all heard before in some form or another. 

I’ve learned that what you allow is what will continue. And what you don’t change, is what you accept.

I’ve shared stories on this show before about the workplace bullying I suffered through and it was that experience that taught me this lesson. 

I learned how important it is to set my own boundaries instead of letting other people draw those boundaries for me. 

And it’s a lesson I try to practice every day. I guard those boundaries like my life depends on it. Because, honestly, it does.

20. Work / life balance is a dirty lie. The only way to have it is to enforce boundaries. 

And following on from that is lesson #20 — throughout my career, I’ve learned that work/life balance is a dirty lie.

All employers dangle it in front of your face like it’s some kind of holy grail but 99% of them are dirty rotten liars. They just want to work you as much as they can. 

They don’t care about you personally or your life. And I’ve learned that the only way to create that balance is to really enforce my boundaries. 

And that also means learning to say no, which is generally a really hard thing to do, especially for women. We’re taught to say yes to everyone who wants or expects anything from us. 

That’s how you be a good daughter, a good sister, a good wife, a good mother. But you have to learn to say no. No is a boundary, and you have to enforce it.

21. Who says that I have to work all my life until retirement? Humans are all equal, you’re not the boss of me

Next up is lesson #21 which is probably a rant more than anything else. But honestly, friends, who decided that we have to work all our lives until retirement. 

Just because some people wanted to get rich off the labour of others, we have to spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for 45 years working.

Which means that I’m only living a third of my life for 45 years. So, those 45 years of existence are equivalent to 15 years of living. 

That’s like dying 30 years early. And we shouldn’t be comfortable with that. Because we’re all equal. And someone else isn’t the boss of you. It sounds childish to say it that way but that’s the truth. 

Who on this planet deserves to have the power to sign half your life away to working. 

22. You are your own best advocate. No one will fight for your rights and what you want as well as you will. 

On to #22 — this is probably also going to be a bit of a controversial one. But I’ve learned that you are your own best advocate. 

No one will fight for your right and what you want as hard as you will. And here’s the controversial part — for me, that includes my parents. 

Sometimes your parents want the best for you but in my experience they’ve also wanted me to live up to their expectations. 

And I had to stand up for myself and what I wanted regardless of those expectations.

Just because they’re your family, it doesn’t mean they get to tell you how you should live your life or impose their expectations on you. 

23. Have the determination to fight for what you want and the courage to stand up for what you deserve.

And that brings me to lesson #23 which is a Priya-quote. I was having a moment of profound wisdom when sharing some advice with a friend. 

And it really spoke to her. So you can quote me on this one if you want. 

But I’ve learned that you should have the determination to fight for what you want and the courage to stand up for what you deserve.

It’s honestly taken me 30 years to learn that lesson but now that I have, it’s something I fiercely abide by.

24. Your life is never out of control. Control doesn’t just disappear, it’s always there. What matters is who has it. 

Next up is lesson #24 — this is another one I really want you to hear. And it’s a Priya-quote so feel free to quote me on this one. 

Your life is never out of control. Control doesn’t just disappear, it’s always there. What matters is who has it. 

Learning this lesson caused me a lot of pain throughout a large portion of my life. It’s one I learned only a few years ago, to be honest. 

We as women are always expected to be good daughters, good sisters, good friends, good wives, good mothers, good workers. 

So much of who we’re supposed to be is decided for us from the moment we’re born. 

And for me personally, it took moving to the other side of the world for me to realise that I was tired of trying not to disappoint everyone else with the expectations they put on me.

Because their expectations aren’t your problem. And — hear me when I say this — if you want control over your own life then you have to take it. No one will give you anything. 

And if you sit around waiting for them to hand control over to you, then you’re not the one who’s really in control.

25. Nobody gets to tell me what I’m capable of or whether my dreams are worthy enough, nobody gets to tell me my worth.

Following on from that is lesson #25 — nobody gets to tell me what I’m capable of. 

Or whether my dreams are worthy enough, or whether I’m worthy enough. Nobody gets to tell me my worth. 

Only you get to decide that. Everyone’s going to have their own opinion of who you are and what you’re worth. 

And I know it’s hard, but don’t let the muggles get you down. And don’t let them define you. They don’t deserve to. 

Only you get to define who you are and who you want to be. 

26. You’re never too old to love a soft toy.

Lesson #26 is probably going to sound super childish, but that’s kind of the point. 

You’re never too old to love a soft toy, or a plush toy, or a teddy bear or any toy. No matter how old we get, they bring us comfort and love and those things are priceless. And they’re not just for children.

27. Blood isn’t thicker than water.

Moving on to lesson #27 — this one was learned through a lot of heartache and tears and through a really difficult time in my life. 

But the truth is that I don’t believe that blood is thicker than water. I really don’t. Instead I believe that the family you choose for yourself matters more. 

Your partner, your friends — they’re not your blood. But that doesn’t mean they don’t matter. Not one bit.

28. People come and go. Don’t waste your energy on those who choose to leave, spend it on those who choose to stay.

Next up, lesson #28 — this is another hard learned lesson but it’s one that’s gotten easier as I’ve gotten older. 

People come and go. And yes, that leaves us with abandonment issues, especially when we’re young. But it’s true. People come and go.

And for me that means a lot of friendships that were super important to me ended up fading away as quickly as they started. 

That used to upset me a lot, especially since everyone knows how hard it is to make friends as an adult. But I’ve learned to move on, because people come and people go. 

And I try not to waste my energy on those who choose to leave and instead I try to spend it on those who choose to stay.

29. Life is too short trying to live up to other people’s expectations or anything that doesn’t serve you.

Lesson #29 is the new philosophy I’ve chosen to live by especially in recent months. 

And I wrote a whole pep talk about this in one of my weekly newsletters. Life is too short. 

It’s too short to spend it trying to live up to other people’s expectations, even if they’re your family. 

And it’s too short to continue allowing anything that doesn’t serve you: Bad jobs, crappy books, sucky relationships, self centred friends, domineering family and sugar free chocolate.

30. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. 

And for my last lesson — lesson #30. This is one I try to remind myself of every day. It’s a quote from Mae West, I believe. 

And it really needs no explanation. Here it is:

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. 

Once is enough.

Season Finale

And that’s all I have for you Girls on FIRE today! And that’s a wrap on season 1 of the show!

I hope that some of the hard learned life lessons I shared with you empower you to really take control of your life and live it on your terms. 

If you have any nuggets to share with me — nuggets of wisdom or nuggets of chicken — send me an email and let me know. I love it when you share things with me. 

If you want to stay in the loop during our season break, then head to papermoneyco.com/startinvesting to get your free Investing Starter Guide and get on the list!

This is actually your very last chance to get your hands on that freebie. I’ll have a brand new freebie for you when season 2 launches.

Season 2 will return on January 3rd which is also when Camp FIRE will be launching! And I can’t wait to see you then.

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See you in the next episode!

Disclaimer

The advice shared on Girl on FIRE is general in nature and does not constitute financial advice. The information shared does not consider your individual circumstances. Girl on FIRE exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.


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